We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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