i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
