Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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