Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
