So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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