What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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