Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize