my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
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He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
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You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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