if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
