Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Everything about him screamed your future.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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