I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
