Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I didn't notice because vodka
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
