you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
