I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
