Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
