Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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