i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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