So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
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Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
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She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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