pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
