Are we in a gay sports bar?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
