your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
