yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
