She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I AM VODKA MAN
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
