I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
