dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
