Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
