i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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