smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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