i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
