My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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