I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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