It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
