Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
