so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
