There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
