Duck Duck Cougar?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
