Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
im six kinds of drunk right now
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
