Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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