I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
