4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
