The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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