"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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