I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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