he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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