She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize