You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Randomize
