It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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