He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
