THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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