Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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