took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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