She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
