one two three fourrrrnication!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
