I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
