I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
sex in a hospital.. check
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
All the doctor said was why
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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