i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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