I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
