Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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