I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
