Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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