just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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